Alright, let's get the crap out of the way and talk about the Shadow of the Erdtree. This is not DLC; this is a culture reboot. The fanbase is already fractured, and I'm here to deconstruct what I've learned, with all the cynicism of someone who's been lied to by glossy trailers more times than I can count. The map. We all saw that pretty painting in the shop, but what actually is the size—and how vile FromSoftware is—is what they won't tell you. The uncovered parts of the Land of Shadow are just the beginning. The true sorcery, and the terror, enter the picture when you find out about the hidden corridor behind the phony waterfall near the "Abyssal Lair" Site of Grace. Yes, I know, they did it again. But one of them takes you to the "Catacombs of Oblivion," an underground labyrinth that makes the Leyndell Catacombs seem like a play area. The paths literally shift based on in-game day/night cycles; if you don't go when it's night, the path to the optional boss "Blade of Lost Time" does not appear. It's sheer torture, but the reward. Let's talk about bosses. Rellana, Twin Moon Knight? She's the warning shot. The real test of your sanity is the "Putrid Messiah," an unconventional boss that only shows up if you bring the "Amulet of Original Sin" (found on the black knight next to the "Tower of Penance" area of grace) into the main boss arena for Promised Consort Radahn. Use the item in battle, and music stops. The sky is getting darker, and *that thing* descends. I'm not going to ruin it for you, but its red rot mechanic is a sadistic joke. The only reliable way to kill it is with a bleed or frost build, and even then, get ready to die. A lot. For the speedrunners, the way is already being paved. The secret isn't slaughtering everything in sight, but sequence breaking with a specific weapon setup. The "Emberstone Blade," which you'll find early in the "Dead Light Caverns," has a charged heavy attack that lets you cheese onto a cliff where the "Shadowkey" is located. This skips you the entire area boss fight in the Gravesite Plain and gets you directly to the Scadutree Avatar, which saves you a precious 20 minutes. It's wonky, it's probably a bug that will get patched, but in the meantime, it's the law of the land. And then there are the builds. The meta is already in place, and it's terrible. Don't even consider your tanky base-game builds. Passivity gets rewarded against in this DLC. The most consistent build I've found so far is the "Wraithfire Spellblade." Stack Faith and Dexterity. For equipment, apply the "Soul Dance" Ash of War to the "Claws of the Perpetual Night" (optional swamp boss drop). For talismans, the foundation consists of the "Great Emberstone Medallion" (boosts charged attack damage when dodging), the "Profane Root Talisman" (boosts poise while jumping), and the "Seal of the Endless Night" (boosts shadow spell power). The strategy is to use your mobility to get to use bleed with the claws, then pressure and range with "Wraithfire" spells. It's glassy, but the damage is just awful. Ultimately, what FromSoftware does best: they provided us with a masterpiece and at the same time with a way of psychological torture. They know our collective psyche better than we know ourselves. And they are also aware that, no matter how loud we scream and swear, we will always come back for more. So I guess I must ask myself: when it is all over, is the actual Shadow of the Erdtree just the madness that we came up with?